Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Forgotten in a collection, the discovery of this fossil presents a real problem for scientists as it doesn't belong to any known living family. - Farmingdale Observer

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Resilience spacecraft’s status after moon-landing attempt is unknown - CNN

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t cotton to rapists

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What do you think of the controls that will be set up over information flows at Taiwan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs' missions?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Marc Maron to End His Long-Running WTF Podcast - Pitchfork

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some cute stories with your crush?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What do you think of Vance using a clip of an embarrassed teenager from almost 20 years ago in an attempt to bully Kamala Harris?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Saquon Barkley unveiled as ‘Madden NFL 26’ cover star with famous backwards hurdle - New York Post

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

My wife found I had been on Pornhub. She considers this adultery and wants a divorce. She hasn't touched me in over 6 years. What should I do?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Billy Joel attempted suicide twice and fell into coma after affair with friend's wife - KOMO

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Ethane Exporter Says U.S. Won’t Allow Shipments to China - WSJ

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

I know who the president of Turkey really is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity